How I got here.

It was summer 2012, and I was asking myself some tough questions, and having a hard time coming to terms with the answers. 

There were a few things I knew. 
I had gained nearly 60 pounds since the birth of my 4th child, who was now 3. 
I felt awful physically. 
My body ached all the time. 
My joints were a problem every hour of every day. 
I had no energy and more things on my to-do list than ever. 
I was running on empty all the time. 

I was addicted to soda.  Not in the typical sense of being addicted to the caffeine.  I actually had no problem waking up in the morning.  I didn't need soda to keep me awake.  I needed it to keep me happy.  (or so I thought).  My Pepsi habit had gone from drinking a can every so often, to drinking a can everyday, then two cans, then gas station big cups with refills.  It was horrible. 
I felt awful emotionally.  I was disappointed in myself.  I felt hopeless.
And I was angry.  I felt like I hadn't changed anything in my life other than the increase in soda, so why was I gaining weight so fast?

Clearly I needed a change.

So what did I do?  I went to the doctor.  I sought out the simple solution.  I was just sure that he would say to me, "Your thyroid is off, let me give you this medication, and suddenly you will lose 70 pounds and be happy again!" 

But guess what?

My thyroid was not off.  I was. 

It was a tough pill to swallow.  There was no easy solution.  I was going to have to work.  Dang it!

I have never been a dieter.  I have seen friends and loved ones yo-yo back and forth on diets, without actually changing much else about their daily life.  So a diet program was kind of out for me.  But there were things I could change about my diet.  That I knew.  So I started simple.  No more soda.

I had my last Pepsi on July 28, 2012.  I stopped buying the 12 packs.  I stopped making pit stops at gas stations. I stopped telling myself that I deserved a Pepsi because of all the stuff I had to do or all that I had gotten done that day.  I stopped making excuses.

I started telling myself that I deserved NOT to have a Pepsi.  I started to drink water.  A lot.  Whenever I was used to picking up a Pepsi and having a drink, I would fill my water bottle instead.  And guess what?  I started feeling better.  Pretty much immediately.

And I was encouraged.  I had taken a baby step, and it was working.  It was hard.  And I was doing it.  I hit one month off Pepsi and was super proud of myself.  I hit two months and was still proud, but was ready to take another step.  

I reached out.  I talked to someone else about my struggle with trying to be healthy again. 

And I am so glad I did.